There are several symbolisms associated with this ceremony. The historically orthodox
symbolism is the destruction of the Jewish temple in Jerusalem and the recognition its
restoration remains an unfulfilled vision. The more familiar symbolism is the absolute
finality of the marital covenant. Just as the broken pieces of glass can never be put
back together and return to its former state, so the covenant of marriage irrevocably
binds the new husband and wife in their new state of marriage. It is symbolic of leaving
the past behind and stepping forward into the future. It is best included after the couple
has been pronounced husband and wife and have kissed. The win glass should be
wrapped in a white cloth and is placed on the floor or the ground by the officiant and
the groom swiftly crushes the glass to the chorus of Mazel Tov meaning
“congratulations” and “good luck” from the assembled guests. The recessional
immediately commences.
This has African-American roots going back to the days of slavery here in America and
even as far back as Africa. The symbolism of the broom relates to the sweeping away
of the past, cleaning away all that is evil and unhealthy – and starting life anew. It
involves the couple jumping over a ceremonial, decorative broomstick immediately after
the Pronouncement and Kiss or during the reception activities.
This is a large, white canopy that provides covering for the bride, groom and officiant or
sometimes for the entire wedding party. It represents the new home which will be
occupied by the couple.
The number 7 has always had sacred significance for Jews, signifying completion. At
the end of the processional and just before the bride reaches the chuppah, she circles
the groom 7 times. These circles hark back to the 7 days of creation and signify the
creation of a new world for the bride and groom. After the Circling of the Groom they
step forward into the chuppah.
This originated in Spain. Centuries ago a man would give his bride thirteen gold coins,
a token of his pledge to support her. The coins represented Christ and His twelve
apostles. The act symbolizes entrusting the stewardship of all his earthly possessions
to his new bride. Her acceptance signifies her promise to be a wise and responsible
steward for the sake of the family. Today it is common for her to pour the same coins
back into the groom’s hands representing a mutual commitment to provide for their joint
needs. The coins are then placed back into a pouch and handed off to the best man
for safekeeping.
Communion brings a spiritual aspect into a marriage at the inception of the marital
relationship. The origin of Communion comes from the New Testament as recorded by
Matthew when Jesus broke bread and shared the cup with His disciples just prior to His
betrayal and arrest in the garden of Gethsemane. It symbolized the breaking of His
body and shedding of His blood which was soon to take place on the cross. To include
this ceremony in a wedding establishes a family altar in the home where the couple is
symbolically demonstrating their desire to recognize Christ as the head of their home.
The officiant would serve a small loaf of bread and juice or wine in a goblet and allow
the couple to have a few moments to pray over their new relationship. He could then
also pray over them, if desired. This would be appropriately placed after the
pronouncement.
This is usually done immediately following the Introduction of the couple when the
Recessional music begins and the bride and groom begin walking down the aisle. An
alternative is the moment the couple kisses. The dove is the symbol of love and
peace. The significance is that doves mate for life.
This ceremony is used to include children in the wedding when couples marry with
children. When a new stepfamily is being created this becomes a tangible way to build
a bond between step-parents and step-children. The recognition of children offers a
moving opportunity for your guests to bear witness not only to your vows as husband
and wife but your family commitment as well. See www.familymedallion.com.
This is a very moving recitation of the importance of the hands of the bride and groom.
It is spoken by the officiant while the bride and groom are simply facing each other while
holding hands:
These are the hands of your best friend, young and strong and full of love for you, that
are holding yours on your wedding day as you promise to love each other today,
tomorrow and forever.
These are the hands that will work alongside yours as together you build your future.
These are the hands that will passionately love you and cherish you through the years,
and with the slightest touch will comfort you like no other.
These are the hands that will hold you when fear or grief temporarily comes your way.
These are the hands that will countless times wipe the tears from your eyes, tears of
sorrow and tears of joy.
These are the hands that will tenderly hold your children.
These are the hands that will give you support and encouragement to chase down your
dreams.
These are the hands that will hold you tight as you struggle through difficult times.
These are the hands that will give you strength when you need it.
These are the hands that will lift your chin and brush your cheek as they raise your face
to look into eyes that are filled with overwhelming love for you.
And lastly, these are the hands that even when wrinkled and aged will still be reaching
for yours, still giving you the same unspoken tenderness with just a touch.
Hand Fasting is a Celtic ritual. It involves the tying of hands together to symbolize the
coming together and remaining tied together. One possible wedding vow during the
Hand Fasting is this:
“As this knot is tied, so are your lives now bound. Woven into this cord, into its very
fibers are all the hopes of your friends and family, and of yourselves, for your new life
together. With the entwining of this knot do I tie all the desires, dreams, love and
happiness wished here in this place to your lives for as long as love shall last. In the
joining of hands and the fashion of a knot, so are your lives now bound, one to
another. By this cord you are thus bound to your vow. May this knot remain tied for as
long as love shall last. May this cord draw your hands together in love, never to be
used in anger. May the vows you have spoken never grow bitter in your mouth. Two
entwined in love, bound by commitment and fear, sadness and joy, by hardship and
victory, anger and reconciliation, all of which brings strength to this union. Hold tight to
one another through both good times and bad, and watch as your strength grows.
Remember that it is not this physical cord, but what it represents that keeps you
together.”
This is the blessing or sanctification of the wine. Wine is symbolic of health, happiness,
prosperity and God’s blessing. At the proper time in the ceremony, the wedding
officiant lifts the Kiddush cup and prays over the wine. The cup is then given to the
groom for him to drink; then he hands it to the bride to drink; and she returns it back to
the wedding officiant who returns it to the table nearby.
Looking for an elegant touch to your ceremony? You might try a Rose Ceremony.
There are essentially two different ways to incorporate a rose into a wedding. But
please remember this important fact. This is your wedding and you can present a rose
in any way that feels right to you.
Some suggestions:
Rose Presentation to Mothers of the Bride and Groom: This is usually done at the
beginning of the ceremony. The bride and groom can offer a rose to each mother after
the presentation of the bride or they can give a rose at the beginning of the ceremony.
This ceremony usually takes place after the wedding vows. The wedding officiant or the
maid of honor and best man can offer the rose to the bride and the groom at the
appropriate moment. Often a Rose Exchange can go like this.
Officiant: After the exchanging of rings, your first gift to each other as husband and wife
is a single rose. The rose is a symbol of love so it is appropriate that it is your first gift.
Please exchange your first gift as husband and wife.
Groom gives his rose to the bride.
Groom: ______, I give you this rose as a symbol of my love. It began as a tiny, tightly
closed bud and blossomed into this perfect rose that opened with the warmth of the
sun, just as my love for you has grown in the warmth of your soul.
Bride gives her rose to the groom.
Bride: ______, I give you this rose as a symbol of my love. It began as a tiny, tightly
closed bud and blossomed into this perfect rose that opened with the warmth of the
sun, just as my love for you has grown in the warmth of your soul.
Officiant: _____ and _____, in remembrance of this day and as a reaffirmation of your
love and of the vows you have spoken here today, please give each other a single red
rose each year on your anniversary. In the best of marriages there are difficult times.
There are times of hurtful words, times of neglect, times when we must wait patiently to
be together again. Those may be the times when the words you really need to speak
are difficult. I ask that you remember this moment and that when words fail you, that
you place a single rose on your spouse’s pillow as a way to say, “I remember our vow,”
and “I love you.” Let this exchanging of roses be the beginning of a lifelong tradition of
unspoken love.
In Bible times, people understood the meaning of vows and keeping promises with each
other at all costs. This was symbolized in something called ‘The Covenant of Salt.’ Men
wore a pouch of salt tied to their belt and when they made covenants, they would each
exchange a pinch of salt, putting their grains of salt into the other’s pouch and vice
versa. If a man would try to break his covenant, then the other would say, “Yes, if you
can retrieve your grains and yours only from my pouch of salt.” Obviously, this was
impossible because the grains of salt would all become as one when they were mixed
together.
Here is one sample of the Salt Covenant.
“_____ and _____, our God is a God of Covenant and is loyal as expressed in the OT
phrase, “The Lord keeps covenant for a thousand generations to those who fear Him.”
‘Covenant’ is the most sacred word in human speech. There are several types of
covenant spoken of in scripture.
Today, this relationship is symbolized through the pouring of these two pouches of salt,
one represent-ing you KEVIN and all that you were, all that you are, and all that you will
ever be, and the other representing you ERICA, and all that you were and all that you
are, and all that you will ever be. As these two pouches of salt are poured into the third
container, the individual pouches will no longer exist, but will be joined together as one.
Just as these grains of salt can never be separated and poured again into the
individual containers, so will your marriage be.
_____ and _____, you are now entering into an eternal covenant with each other. You
have exchanged vows and now you are going to unify salt from each other’s pouch and
then shake it. The shaking of the box symbolizes the finality of the covenant of loyalty
between you.”
Pouring of Salt and Shaking of Container
“You are now bound in the covenant of loyalty. May God bless you, keep you and
preserve you!”
The Sand Ceremony is very popular in California since sand is, well, abundant. Two
vessels of sand are poured together either into a third keepsake or into the wind to
represent the coming together of your lives. Here are a few sample Sand Ceremonies.
Sand Ceremony #1
“Today, this relationship is symbolized through the pouring of these two individual
containers of sand. One representing you _____ and all that you were, all that you are,
and all that you will ever be and the other representing you _____ and all that you
were, all that you are, and all that you will ever be. As these two containers of sand are
poured into the third container, the individual containers of sand will no longer exist, but
will be joined together as one. Just as these grains of sand can never be separated
and poured again into the individual containers, so will your marriage be.”
Sand Ceremony #2
_____ and _____, today you join your separate lives together. The two separate
bottles of sand symbolize your separate lives, separate families and separate sets of
friends. They represent all that you are and all that you’ll ever be as an individual.
They also represent your lives before today. As these two containers of sand are
poured into the third container, the individual containers of sand will no longer exist but
will be joined together as one. Just as these grains of sand can never be separated
and poured again into the individual containers, so will your marriage be.”
The Unity Candle is a very traditional wedding event. In this ceremony the mothers of
the bride and groom light the candles on either side of the unity candle. The two
lighted candles signify the separate lives, families and experiences before the wedding.
After the exchange of vows but before the exchange of rings the bride and groom take
each side candle and light the unity candle together thus symbolically uniting their
families and experiences into one. The verbiage for this ceremony can be as follows or
a personalized ceremony can be created for you.
Unity Candle Ceremony #1
_____ and _____, the two separate candles symbolize your separate lives, separate
families and separate sets of friends, in other words, your lives before today. Lighting
the center candle represents that your two lives are now being joined together as one.
Please pick up the lighted candles and together light the center candle.
Unity Candle Ceremony #2
_____ and _____ have chosen to affirm their love by the lighting of a unity candle.
They have also asked their families to participate in the lighting ceremony. In so doing,
they signal their desire to not only join as one in their union but to also unite two
families together as one. From every human being there rises a light and when two
souls that are destined for each other find one another, their streams of light flow
together and a single, brighter light goes forth from their united being.
These two Hispanic Catholic ceremonies take place together following the Exchange of
Rings and/or Unity Candle ceremony. The couple takes their place on a kneeler or for
outside wedding ceremonies, on a pillow. Two veil sponsors bring forward a large,
white veil and place it over the bride’s head and the groom’s shoulders symbolizing the
oneness of marriage. Then the cord sponsors bring forward a white double lasso (in a
figure eight shape) and loop it over and around the couple symbolizing the unbroken
and unbreakable bond of marriage. At this point a prayer is usually offered by the
officiant, designated individual or godparent. A song may be included as well.
Communion may also be served during the song. Following this the cord sponsors
come and remove the cord. The veil sponsors remove the veil and the couple arises
from kneeling to return to their place front and center.
This is a sample of many but not all of the various ceremony elements. These elements
may be written with a religious or spiritual tone or be entirely secular (non-religious)
emphasizing love, joy and happiness, based on your preference.
Seating of the Guests: Pre-ceremonial music as the ushers seat the guests. Music
begins 15 minutes before the ceremony.
Seating of Parents: After the guests are seated, the groom’s parents are escorted
to their seats. The bride’s mother is the last to be seated. The bride’s father is waiting
with the bride.
Groom Takes His Place: The officiant, groom, best man and ushers take their
places.
Attendant’s Procession: The wedding party proceeds down the aisle with
processional music in the background.
Bridal Procession: The bride’s father offers his right arm as he escorts the bride
down the aisle.
The Welcome: A welcome to the guests and expression of appreciation for their
attendance at your wedding is appropriate here or some choose to recognize those
unable to attend.
The Address: The officiant speaks about marriage. The comments are generally
focused on the origin of marriage, love, friendship, mutual trust and respect, and the
joys and challenges found within choosing to love someone for life. This is where
scripture can be included. These remarks will be inspired by our conversations and
reviewed by the bride and groom.
Questions of Intent: This is the point in which you say the famous words, “I do.”
Exchange of Vows: Your vows are what you are promising one another. Whether
you choose to use traditional or contemporary vows or to write your own, make sure
they voice the promises you truly want to make. Your vows can be identical or different;
they can be read or repeated after your officiant. Sample vows are provided below
Exchange of Rings: This can be done as you recite your vows to each other or it
can occur later in the ceremony.
Specialty Ceremonies: This is the time where couples will symbolize their union by
lighting a unity candle or blending sand or exchange salt or some other symbolic
ceremony. This is a great time for background music to be played. Examples of
specialty ceremonies are provided below.
The Pronouncement: This is when you are officially pronounced husband and wife.
The Kiss: Remember that when you kiss is a great photo opportunity so be sure it is
not over too quickly!
The Introduction: This is the time you are introduced as husband and wife for the
first time. Take a moment to think about this. Do you want to be introduced as Mr. &
Mrs. John Doe; Mr. & Mrs. John and Jane Doe; John & Jane Doe; or something else?
The Recessional: The bride and groom lead the wedding party back down the aisle.
Notes:
If you decide that you do not want to do any of these steps listed above in the sample
wedding ceremony or put them out of order- - - -it's all your choice. You can say
anything that you want to say that is fitting for your relationship and as long as you both
agree to be married somewhere in the wedding ceremony.
may be written with a religious or spiritual tone or be entirely secular (non-religious)
emphasizing love, joy and happiness, based on your preference.
Seating of the Guests: Pre-ceremonial music as the ushers seat the guests. Music
begins 15 minutes before the ceremony.
Seating of Parents: After the guests are seated, the groom’s parents are escorted
to their seats. The bride’s mother is the last to be seated. The bride’s father is waiting
with the bride.
Groom Takes His Place: The officiant, groom, best man and ushers take their
places.
Attendant’s Procession: The wedding party proceeds down the aisle with
processional music in the background.
Bridal Procession: The bride’s father offers his right arm as he escorts the bride
down the aisle.
The Welcome: A welcome to the guests and expression of appreciation for their
attendance at your wedding is appropriate here or some choose to recognize those
unable to attend.
The Address: The officiant speaks about marriage. The comments are generally
focused on the origin of marriage, love, friendship, mutual trust and respect, and the
joys and challenges found within choosing to love someone for life. This is where
scripture can be included. These remarks will be inspired by our conversations and
reviewed by the bride and groom.
Questions of Intent: This is the point in which you say the famous words, “I do.”
Exchange of Vows: Your vows are what you are promising one another. Whether
you choose to use traditional or contemporary vows or to write your own, make sure
they voice the promises you truly want to make. Your vows can be identical or different;
they can be read or repeated after your officiant. Sample vows are provided below
Exchange of Rings: This can be done as you recite your vows to each other or it
can occur later in the ceremony.
Specialty Ceremonies: This is the time where couples will symbolize their union by
lighting a unity candle or blending sand or exchange salt or some other symbolic
ceremony. This is a great time for background music to be played. Examples of
specialty ceremonies are provided below.
The Pronouncement: This is when you are officially pronounced husband and wife.
The Kiss: Remember that when you kiss is a great photo opportunity so be sure it is
not over too quickly!
The Introduction: This is the time you are introduced as husband and wife for the
first time. Take a moment to think about this. Do you want to be introduced as Mr. &
Mrs. John Doe; Mr. & Mrs. John and Jane Doe; John & Jane Doe; or something else?
The Recessional: The bride and groom lead the wedding party back down the aisle.
Notes:
If you decide that you do not want to do any of these steps listed above in the sample
wedding ceremony or put them out of order- - - -it's all your choice. You can say
anything that you want to say that is fitting for your relationship and as long as you both
agree to be married somewhere in the wedding ceremony.
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| Rev. Arland Steen Working with you to capture, communicate, craft and celebrate your special day. |
Sample Vow #1
Groom: With this ring I thee wed as a symbol of my abiding love. With a heart
committed to you, I abandon all others. I will surround you with strength, provision and
love. I will cherish you all the days of my life.
Bride: With this ring I thee wed as a symbol of my abiding love. With a heart committed
to you, I abandon all others. I will surround you with respect, with honor and with love. I
give you all that I am.
Sample Vow #2
I (name), take you (name) to be my (husband/wife), my partner in life and my one true
love. I will cherish our union and love you more each day than I did the day before. I
will trust you and respect you, laugh with you and cry with you, loving you faithfully
through good times and bad, regardless of the obstacles we may face together. I give
you my hand, my heart and my love from this day forward for as long as we both shall
live.
Sample Vow #3
I, (name), choose you (name) to be my (husband/wife), to respect you in your
successes and in your failures, to care for you in sickness and in health, to nurture you,
and to grow with you throughout the seasons of life.
Sample Vow #4
From this day on I choose you to be my beloved soul mate, to live with you and laugh
with you; to stand by your side and sleep in your arms; to be joy to your heart and food
to your soul; to bring out the best in you always; to be the best I can be, just for you; to
celebrate with you in the good times; to struggle with you in the bad; to solace you when
you are down-hearted; to wipe your tears with my hands; to care for you with my entire
being; to share with you everything that I have; as we treat each other with tenderness,
compassion and love.
Sample Vow #5
“(Name), today I take you by the hand and into my heart. My love for you is difficult to
measure with words, for the feelings I receive from you are unmatched. My mind is
stimulated by your undeniable capability to love. The beauty of your smile overwhelms
my body. My soul has been poured out to you with complete trust. You fill my heart
with so much warmth. (Name), you are my anchor. I promise to cherish and support
you from this day forward.”
Groom: With this ring I thee wed as a symbol of my abiding love. With a heart
committed to you, I abandon all others. I will surround you with strength, provision and
love. I will cherish you all the days of my life.
Bride: With this ring I thee wed as a symbol of my abiding love. With a heart committed
to you, I abandon all others. I will surround you with respect, with honor and with love. I
give you all that I am.
Sample Vow #2
I (name), take you (name) to be my (husband/wife), my partner in life and my one true
love. I will cherish our union and love you more each day than I did the day before. I
will trust you and respect you, laugh with you and cry with you, loving you faithfully
through good times and bad, regardless of the obstacles we may face together. I give
you my hand, my heart and my love from this day forward for as long as we both shall
live.
Sample Vow #3
I, (name), choose you (name) to be my (husband/wife), to respect you in your
successes and in your failures, to care for you in sickness and in health, to nurture you,
and to grow with you throughout the seasons of life.
Sample Vow #4
From this day on I choose you to be my beloved soul mate, to live with you and laugh
with you; to stand by your side and sleep in your arms; to be joy to your heart and food
to your soul; to bring out the best in you always; to be the best I can be, just for you; to
celebrate with you in the good times; to struggle with you in the bad; to solace you when
you are down-hearted; to wipe your tears with my hands; to care for you with my entire
being; to share with you everything that I have; as we treat each other with tenderness,
compassion and love.
Sample Vow #5
“(Name), today I take you by the hand and into my heart. My love for you is difficult to
measure with words, for the feelings I receive from you are unmatched. My mind is
stimulated by your undeniable capability to love. The beauty of your smile overwhelms
my body. My soul has been poured out to you with complete trust. You fill my heart
with so much warmth. (Name), you are my anchor. I promise to cherish and support
you from this day forward.”
Serving Santa Barbara, Ventura, Los Angeles, and Orange Counties
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Ceremony Sequence of Events